The deaths of the young people the past two weeks were sad to me but since I did not personally know them didn't really affect me. The recent accident and death of Dave Parker is different. Wednesday evening Dave was headed home from work. This is something each and every one of us who works does. What happened next is what has me down heartened and wondering if.
I am wondering if something were to happen to me tomorrow would my husband of almost 18 years know how much I love him. Yes we tell each other we love you but the words I love you come no where near the feeling of I love you. Does Dave's wife know this?
I am wondering if my mom would be able to handle loosing her youngest child. My sister doesn't live in town and my brother is usually busy with his own to be able to spend much time and do much with mom. I am the one she turns to..I guess in a way since loosing my dad many years ago I have become my mom's rock. Will Dave's mom be able to get over the loss of her youngest?
I am wondering if neices and nephew would truly know how much I am so proud of them. I tried to be a friend just as much as being Aunt Karen. They may not have always made the right decisions, none of us do. I always tried to support them in whatever it is they did. Will they be able to offer support to their dad, mom and grandmother? Will they know that I loved them? Will Dave's neices and nephews know this?
I am wondering will my neices tell my great neices (and any more great ?? that might come along) how proud I was to see them the first time. How being able to keep them helped fill the void that loosing Taylor left. Will Dave's son and soon to be baby remember the love that he had for them?
I am wondering if my friends (work, sports, close) know that if I ever made them mad, upset or let them down that it was never my intention for it to happen? I value friendships. Friendships (whether short term or life time) help us learn, develop and grow beyond our means. Does Dave's friends know this?
I am wondering if my family and friends will understand that I was ready to go. Will they understand that I will be happy to see my dad, Taylor, Scotty, Mrs. Furlough and all of those who pasted before me. Will they understand that I am where I want to be and that I will be there waiting.
I am not asking WHY I am just wondering........What are you wondering about?
12 years ago
4 comments:
I have struggled with this ever since losing my sister in law. And now...all these others. So scary and sad.
Great post, got me to thinking. That's why I have tried to let Drew know everyday how much I love him and how Awesome I think he is.
You just have to live everyday to the fullest, cause you never know when it's going to be your last.
Just to let you know, we do know. All of us know. You show us everytime you see or talk to us. Even though I know you love Anthony's cooking the most! Just joking.
Anthony's cooking is just a bonus. A pretty good bonus :) :)
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